Episode 12: A Sensation in Dublin Zoo
The season finale of The Greatest Matter and everything is at stake as Frances and Margaret find themselves once more faced with murder in the Phoenix Park.
The Greatest Matter was written & directed by Conor Reid
It was Recorded at The Podcast Studios, Dublin and produced by Hilary Barry
Editing, Sound Design, and Original Music by Conor Reid
The show is a HeadStuff Podcast. For more on the network, all the great shows, and details on how you can support the podcast, go to HeadStuffPodcasts.com
CAST
Lombroso
Margaret
Frances
Burton
Col Godley
Lord Grimshaw
Kate Carey
Bill
Additional Voices
Donncha O’Dea
Margaret Mc Auliffe
Amy O’Dwyer
Darragh Smith
James Ward
Donncha O’Dea
Margaret Mc Auliffe
Darragh Smith
Conor Reid, James Ward, Darragh Smith, Paddy O’Leary
Dramaturgy & Script Support from Peter Dunne
Artwork & Design by Matt Mahon
Marketing & Promotional Support from Claudia Grandez & Hilary Barry
Transcript: A Sensation in Dublin Zoo
SCENE 1
[FX: Footsteps. Door unlocks and opens]
FRANCES: Ow, ok, ok. I can walk in a door!
[FX: Door slams and locks]
FRANCES: Ow. What a brute. What do they even…(jumps) oh, my god you startled me! Hello? Eh…. Excuse me? Are you ok? let me just….
CAREY: (groan) Oh, it’s you!
FRANCES: Ms Carey?! Are you…are you ok?
CAREY: (a bit feeble). Well, not really if I’m honest, can you help…
FRANCES: Yes, of course, let me just [FX: sounds as she helps her to sit up]
CAREY: Thank you.
FRANCES: Your face…what did they do to you?
CAREY: They had a lot of questions and I didn’t have all the answers. (moves, grimaces) You look like you’re dressed up to go somewhere nice. I take it they let you go yesterday, then?
FRANCES: Yes. And then rearrested me about an hour ago.
CAREY: I’ve lost track of time. What time is it now?
FRANCES: It’s late Wed evening
CAREY: I see, I… (stumbles) sorry, I don’t have the strength to stand. Could you sit with me here, I’m feeling very faint.
FRANCES: Yes, yes, of course. You sit there, let me just…look you can lean your head against my scarf here
(Pause)
CAREY: (Whispering) Lean a little closer, would you?
FRANCES: Sorry? Oh, yes.
CAREY: (Whispering) Ms Hunter I’m going to whisper something to you, please keep your answers to a minimum and no louder than I’m speaking.
FRANCES: (Both whispering now) What is it?
CAREY: Listen carefully. I am in pain but I’m not as bad as I’m letting on. I’m not feeling faint but I needed you in as close as possible. Do you see that grate on the wall up there? I’m fairly certain they are listening to everything. They’ve put you in here to see what happens, if one of us talks and reveals something.
FRANCES: They want to know whether you created the pithecanthropus that killed Redgrave?
CAREY: Ah, I see you areas up to speed as I’d hoped. Yes, they want to know if I created it. Which I did, and I told them as much. I held out for as long as I could but, well, you can see what they did to me.
FRANCES: Those monsters, they will be held accountable for this!
CAREY: Yes, hopefully, but we’ll have to do that ourselves. Tell me, where were you going this evening?
FRANCES: To an event organised by some secret society who wanted to work with us in investigating all this.
CAREY: Ah, Monsieur Leroux and Psi reached you then. Excellent
FRANCES: I didn’t get his name but yes, Psi. You know them?
CAREY: I do indeed. Ms Hunter, I am the president of Psi, something this army lot have not been able to put together. I know Leroux is trying everything to get me out of here. We’ve seen what has happened the other mediums who’ve been taken like this, and it’s not pleasant.
FRANCES: Wait, excuse me? What’s been happening to them? And how are you the president of a secret organisation, I thought you were just a medium.
CAREY: I’m a lot of things, Ms Hunter. Much like yourself. Women like us, we sometimes need to keep our ambitions hidden lest it upset the poor gentlemen who would rather we provided parlour entertainment. There’s plenty more to explain and … [FX: lock unbolts] shh!
PVT STAPLETON: Food and water, ladies. [FX: sound of tin tray being placed heavily on the table]
FRANCES: (Sarcastically) You’re so kind.
STAPLETON: What’s wrong with her?
CAREY: (groan)
FRANCES: She’sin pain, you imbecile, after how you’ve treated her.
STAPLETON: I just bring the food, ma’am. Tell her to at least drink something.
[FX: door closes]
CAREY: (back to whispering)Ok we don’t have much time. I can’t explain everything now, let’s wait until we’re not in danger of being overhead.
FRANCES: And when will that be?
CAREY: Well, once we get out of here.
FRANCES: It doesn’t look like they are going to let us out any time soon.
CAREY: No, Frances, of course not. May I call you Frances? Please, call me Kate.
FRANCES: Of course. So, how are we going to get out of here?
CAREY: Well, in about 30 minutes, with your help, we’re going to escape.
SCENE 2
[FX: In a cab. Sounds of horses on street, etc]
LOMBROSO: So.
MARGARET: Allora
LOMBROSO: Excuse me?
MARGARET: “Allora” – isn’t that what you say sometimes?
LOMBROSO: Oh, allora (in Italian accent with longer l and rolled r)
MARGARET: Allora -ora (trying to roll her r’s, laughing)
LOMBROSO: Yes, that’s it. Well, not really, but an improvement, shall we say.
MARGARET: Hmm, I’ll need to practice. I’m useless at languages! How is your English so impeccable?
LOMBROSO: Research. I studied in Paris and Vienna. One really can’t expect to stay up to date in my field without Latin, French, German, and English. And, of course, I use Italian every day, although I grew up speaking Venetian.
MARGARET: That’s…a lot of languages
LOMBROSO: I travel a lot, I read voraciously, I correspond with other academics. You don’t speak other languages?
MARGARET: Not really. Well Gaeilge – Irish – but not much else beyond some basic French I learned in school. Frances is always trying to get me to learn French properly. She wants to take me to Paris.
LOMBROSO: Paris is a truly wonderful city. I hope you go.
MARGARET: I hope so too. Oh, I’m so worried about her!
LOMBROSO: I know, but let’s stay optimistic. She may be at her house now waiting for us. It’s near here, isn’t it?
MARGARET: Yes, but what if she’s not there?
LOMBROSO: Well, then we make a plan. Those soldiers searching Molesworth St clearly knew something was happening. Only for Monsieur Leroux’s precautions, we would be in a very different situation.
MARGARET: Yes, that was amazing. I had no idea where all those tiny corridors were going to lead until we just arrived out on Kildare St!
CAB DRIVER: Here we are, sir. You sure this is where you’re looking for, yes?
MARGARET: Yes, just here, thank you.
[FX: sounds of getting out]
LOMBROSO: Thank you. Here you are and, here, take this too and if anyone happens to ask, you never dropped us off here.
CAB DRIVER: Oh, you’re very kind sir, thank you. Don’t worry, I never saw you.
[FX: coach driving away]
MARGARET: The back gate to Frances’ garden is just down here, we’re directly behind her house now. Let me just find the key [FX: flower pot, leaves, scrabbling around]
Here we are [fx: unlocking gate] Now, we can walk up the garden along here, nobody will be able to see us from the house if we keep to the left. Then we can look in the windows and see if there’s any trouble. If we see any soldiers we get straight out.
LOMBROSO: I’ll follow your lead.
[FX: walking through leaves, etc]
MARGARET: (whispering)Look, there’s the kitchen, no one in there. No lights upstairs it seems.
LOMBROSO: What’s that room? There’s a fire lit.
MARGARET: That’s the study. No sign of Frances but I can’t see any soldiers. Looks quiet, what do you think?
LOMBROSO: I think we have to risk it. Do you have a key for the back door there too?
MARGARET: Yes, we can let ourselves in quietly and go round to the study.
[FX: keys, creaky door]
MARGARET: This way, the study is across here.
BILL: (suddenly shouting)STOP!! I HAVE A WEAPON! WHO ARE YOU?
MARGARET: (Screams)
LOMBROSO: (simultaneously shouting) Merda!
MARGARET: Wait, Bill, no! It’s me, Margaret!!
BILL: (still shouting)I’m warning you,if you don’t…( stops suddenly) Ms Malone?!
MARGARET: Yes, Bill, it’s fine, it’s just me!
BILL: (shaken) Jesus, you scared me half to death. I thought it was burglars.
MARGARET: I’m so sorry, Bill. You can put down the…is that a rolled-up newspaper?
BILL: Ah, yes, I had it to hand…probably not the greatest of deterrents. (pause, collecting himself) Sir, I’m Ms Frances’ Hunter’s butler, I..
MARGARET: Sorry, yes, this is Professor Cesare Lombroso. Professor, this is Bill Cunningham.
LOMBROSO: My utmost apologies, we didn’t mean to startle you. Ms Malone assured me she came in through the garden entrance regularly.
BILL: Did she?
MARGARET: Yes, well, that’s not important, this was an emergency. Look, Bill, is there anyone here?
BILL: What? No, just me. Ms Hunter said she would be back later tonight, although it’s getting quite late if you ask me.
LOMBROSO: No one called to the door asking for Ms Hunter?
BILL: No, it’s been quiet all evening.
MARGARET: And you haven’t seen her since she went out earlier?
BILL: No, she came home briefly and then said she was going for a meeting in Trinity College and then had a society event. Is something wrong?
MARGARET: We’re not sure. We were at the event, she never arrived and, well, we think something might have happened.
LOMBROSO: Perhaps. She may simply have been delayed in Trinity.
BILL: Well, you both look exhausted, if you don’t mind me saying so. Why don’t you take a seat in the study, the fire is lit. Mrs Maguire prepared some supper earlier, I can get you something.
You know I’d be worried for Ms Hunter only, as you know yourself, she does have a terrible habit of disappearing and reappearing when I least expect.
MARGARET: Oh, I know. Thank you, Bill. And please, after the supper will you lock up and retire for the evening. We’ll wait for Ms Hunter. If she doesn’t arrive by eleven, we’ll let ourselves out and call by in the morning.
BILL: Ok, I’ll get you that supper so. But please call if you need anything.
MARGARET: We will, thank you.
LOMBROSO: Thank you
[FX: Bill leaving, door closing]
MARGARET: Ok, let’s think. We can wait here for now; there’s still a chance Frances went to meet Henthorn and he had something important she felt was worth following up on. We can wait until 11 and, in the meantime, make a plan given what we now know?
LOMBROSO: Ok (yawns). Oh I beg your pardon. It’s been a very long day. Allora, let’s go through what we need to do next. Mr Leroux said that…..
[Fades out]
SCENE 3
(voices somewhat hushed below)
CAREY: Frances, it’s getting dark. If they are watching from somewhere I don’t think they’ll be able to see much, and we can keep our voices down.
FRANCES: But what exactly is your plan to escape? You are aware we are in a military barracks, yes?
CAREY: Quite aware. But I also know two other important things. One, I may not be alive much longer if I wait around in this cell.
And two, I know what you can do.
FRANCES: What I can do?
CAREY: Yes. Frances. I don’t know how much of this you’re aware of, but mediums draw on the energy of other people to connect with the beyond. Séances – real séances – work because the collective energy in the room can be drawn upon by the medium.
FRANCES: Yes, I’ve attended many.
CAREY: Good, well some people are far more responsive, more… resonant than others. As a medium you can sense this very easily. You, for example, are brimming with energy.
FRANCES: Oh,I…
CAREY: Which means I can probablymake a strongconnection with the spirit world, using your energy alone.
FRANCES: You could contact the dead, here? Now?
CAREY: I imagine so, yes. But the problem is that contact with the dead is not quite what we need. What we need is a distraction. In my experiments with Psi, I have become quite adept at materialising the spirits of animals – higher mammals by and large seem the most responsive. The pithecanthropus was a step too far, too soon. But I have quite reliably brought forth animals further down the evolutionary scale – monkeys, dogs, even horses.
FRANCES: So you want to materialise a…horse?
CAREY: No, not quite. We need something a littlemoreferocious. I was thinking a tiger, perhaps.
FRANCES: (raising her voice)A tiger?!
CAREY: Shh!
FRANCES: (quieter)Sorry!A tiger, though? You want to materialise a tiger, in this room? In this locked room. Are you crazy!?
CAREY: I’ll admit it’s a risk but tigers tend not to attack people at random. Not unless they are provoked.
FRANCES: How do you know that?
CAREY: Well, I don’t, but that sounds plausible, doesn’t it?
FRANCES: I don’t know?! I don’t know anything about tigers!
CAREY: Well neither do I but I think it’s worth an attempt.
Also, none of the other animals I’ve materialised seemed to hold any ill will towards me.
FRANCES: Except the ape-man who murdered someone!
CAREY: True, but he wasn’t interested in me.
FRANCES: Ugh,I can’t believe I’m even entertain this but…fine. So, what happensexactly, assuming some huge, ferocious Indian tiger appears in this room?
CAREY: Well, we scream, we say there’s something in the room and shout for the guards and they come and open the door.
FRANCES: And they see a tiger.
CAREY: Exactly.
FRANCES: And….
CAREY: Well, I assume they panic. Run, maybe try to approach the tiger if they are stupid enough, maybe enrage it. Or maybe the tiger gets loose? Either way, we stand well back. And if we get a chance, we run.
FRANCES: I…
CAREY: Look, I don’t mean to frighten you, but I don’t see us leaving this room alive, certainly not me. I’m next on a growing list of gruesomely tortured and murdered mediums. Women murdered for an ability they didn’t choose, and which was harming nobody. My ability, if used the wrong way, actually does present a threat, so the chances of me being left alive are zero.
You don’t have to help me, but if there’s even a small chance we make it out of here in all the confusion of a tiger loose in the barracks, we should take it. What’s the worst that could happen?
FRANCES: We get gruesomely mauled by a tiger?
CAREY: Well,I was going to say we get recaptured, tortured, and shot. But I suppose the tiger mauling is a possibility.
FRANCES: (pause)Aaaah fine! Let’s try it
CAREY: Are you sure?
FRANCES: Yes, you’re right. It’s worth a try, and we are running out of options.
What do I need to do?
CAREY: Sit down beside me here. Take my hand.
Now close your eyes and breathe with me.
In…..out. In….out. In…out [FX: breathing sounds]
Now, just relax. You may see a change come over me, that’s fine, don’t be alarmed – you’ve been to séances. If something starts to materialise just give it space, let it happen. When I’ve done this previously the animals tended to be a little disoriented when they first materialise. That’s probably our chance to call for the guards without attracting unwanted attention from the tiger.
FRANCES: (Breathing, nervous)Right.
CAREY: Let’s begin.
[FX: spiritualism sounds, as before, blende with animal sounds]
FRANCES: Oh, I feel it!
CAREY: Yes, it’s working. Stay still, keep breathing…
[FX: sounds continue]
FRANCES: I think it’s working. Kate, are you….?
CAREY: (gentle, in a trance)Shhh, mmmm
FRANCES: Sorry, ok.(Gasps) Oh my god, it’s working, look something is appearing from the shadows there! Kate! (getting nervous) Kate? It’s there, oh god, it’s huge, what do we….should I?
CAREY: (semi-conscious noises)
FRANCES: Kate?!Oh god, oh god, I’m going to…… (shouting) HELP!!!! HELP!! THERE’S SOMETHING IN HERE! PLEASE HELP US, GUARDS!! (screaming)
Kate! Kate, you’ve got to wake up, the soldiers will be coming, the tiger is right there, it looks kind of sleepy or….Kate! Come on!
HELP!!! HELP!!!! THERE’S SOMETHING IN HERE!!!
Kate, snap out of it! Come on! At least (pulling her up) come over to the corner here (spoken as she drags her to the corner of the room)
CAREY: (groggily)Frances?
FRANCES: Kate! Yes! Come on, it’s worked!
(shouts from outside: “What’s going on in there?”)
PLEASE!! HELP US!!
CAREY: Sorry, it’s hard, sometimes, to… I’m here, I’m here. Where’s the….oh my, that is a tiger.
FRANCES: Yes, it is.
[FX: Tiger roar]
(Both scream and try to muffle it as sounds from lock and door opening)
PRIVATE STAPLETON: What the hell is going on in here? [FX: lock and door opens, then another roar] Jesus Christ, what is that?!
COL GODLEY: What is it, private? What the fu….
[FX: Another tiger roar and padded steps as it moves around]
Jesus, it’s … shoot it!
PVT STAPLETON: But Colonel Godley, it’s….
GODLEY: Now!!!
[FX: gun shot, tiger roar, then sounds as it comes towards them]
GODLEY: Again! For god’s sake aim properly! Aim for the head, I’ll take the body
[FX: Shot, girls scream]
Don’t kill the fucking women!
PVT STAPLETON: Sir, it’s… the eyes are glowing, it’s… [FX: he screams and tiger roars as it attacks him]
GODLEY: Fuck, it’s getting away! (shouting to soldiers) You, get someone for Private Stapleton here. The rest of you, with me, there’s a fucking wild animal on the loose, it went this way! (more distant) Come on!
[FX: more distant again: roar, gunshots]
CAREY: Come on, they’re all following it down the corridor, now’s our chance before someone comes for the private there!
STAPLETON: (Groans)
FRANCES: My god, are you….is he alright??
CAREY: Looks like it’s just his leg, he’ll be fine, come on!
FRANCES: Which way?
CAREY: Look, they brought us in through here, there’s a door out to a courtyard across there. Come on! Come on!
[FX: running, panting]
FRANCES: (hissing)Kate, stop! In here, there’s someone coming.
SOLDIER 1: [FX: distant roar]What the hell is going on? That sounded like a fucking lion!?
SOLDIER 1: (getting more distant) Oh Jesus, Stapelton! Stapleton! What the hell happened??
FRANCES: Ok, he’s gone. What now?
[FX: sound of large bell ringing]
CAREY: Well, the alarm’s been raised, they’ll all be running towards the commotion. If we can keep to the shadows, maybe run across that green?
BURTON: I don’t think that’ll work.
CAREY: (Screams with fright)
FRANCES: (At same time, screaming with fright) Burton!
CAREY: Run, Frances!
BURTON: Wait, wait, wait! I’m here to help you!
CAREY: Frances!
BURTON: If you run out that door you’ll be shot. There are sentries up there, look!
FRANCES: Wait, Kate. Hear him out.
BURTON: Look, we don’t have much time.I was coming to help you but it looks like you are on top of that.I’m going to assume that that tiger with a strange glow emanating from it is your doing?
FRANCES: Yes.
BURTON: Ok, you can explain how the hell that happened later. For now, come with me. I can get you to the back of the barracks. This way, follow me!
CAREY: (whispering) Do you trust him, Frances?
FRANCES: I don’t know. I think so. But we’ve nothing to lose at this stage, do we? If he wanted to recapture us he could have.
BURTON: Come on, quick, quick. Through here (sound changes as they go through an enclosed space)
Out here. Look, that’s the back of the barracks, leads out to Harold’s Cross. I’ll give you a boost over the wall and you’ll just have to jump and run. There’s a house not far from here. Keep following the lane opposite the wall until you’re almost at the main road, near the park. You’ll see a small house, red door, number 24. Knock there, tell them you need to stay the night and that I sent you.
FRANCES: What? What are you going to do?
BURTON: I’m going to get back andpretend I never saw you. And try to avoid getting mauled by a supernatural tiger, or whatever the hell that is.
Now, go, up. Frances, put your foot in my hands here (grunts) and up! Have you got the top?
FRANCES: Yes, I’m up. Kate, your turn, grab my hand!
BURTON: Ok, now jump down. Try to bend your legs and cushion the fall. Don’t break your leg now!
FRANCES: [FX: jumps, thud] Ow!
CAREY: [FX: jumps, thud] Ugh (pause) We’re fine!
BURTON: Get out of here! Red door, no 24!
(END OF DAY)
SCENE 4
[FX: Clock bell chimes 4 times]
MARGARET: (Sleep noises) Mmm.
[FX: Bell chimes 3 more times]
Ugh (yawns, then gasps) Professor!
LOMBROSO: Mmm?
MARGARET: Professor! Professor, wake up! We fell asleep.
LOMBROSO: Hmm? Che ore sono?… what, what time is it?
MARGARET: It’s 7 o’clock, look, it’s getting bright!
LOMBROSO: 7 o’clock! How did that happen!
MARGARET: (worried)Frances! Hold on, I’ll check if Bill…
(crosses room, opens door to call to Bill, who is coming in the door) Bill! Oh, you startled me!
BILL: Excuse me, ma’am, I was just coming to…
MARGARET: Frances! Is she here?
BILL: (interrupting) No, there’s no sign of her but…
MARGARET: (interrupting) We fell asleep, I don’t know how it happened but… ugh this is a disaster, what are we going to do…
BILL: Ma’am?
MARGARET: If Frances isn’t here thenshe must have…
BILL: (more forcefully)Ms Malone!
MARGARET: Sorry, … oh, what’s that?
BILL: This is what I came in to tell you. Look, it’s a note, hand delivered just a few minutes ago. It just says “urgent” on the envelope but look, that is Ms Hunter’s writing, I’d recognise it anywhere!
MARGARET: Yes, that’s her elaborate calligraphy fad handwriting alright! I’m opening it. [FX: tears it open]
Reads aloud:
My dear Margaret, I’ve sent out notes to a number of places I thought you might be. If you are reading this then we have no time to lose. Henthorn is dead.
Oh my god!
LOMBROSO: What?!
MARGARET: Henthorn is dead, murdered by Grimshaw and his men. I escaped, with Ms Carey too, but we are all in great danger. We need to meet as soon as possible. Grimshaw’s men may intercept this message so I’ll simply say I’ll be paying my respects to our favourite vampire, from 8 o’clock this morning.
MARGARET: Oh my god, she’s ok, I’m so relieved (hugging the professor)
LOMBROSO: Yes! Oh, eh, sorry, I…
MARGARET: Sorry, sorry, I don’t know why I just hugged you, I…
LOMBROSO: (awkward) No, no, it’s quite alright, I merely meant, yes, no, this is fantastic news (pause) What does she mean about the vampire?
MARGARET: It means we’re going to Mt Jerome Cemetery. It’s in Harold’s Cross, not too far from here.
LOMBROSO: And the…
MARGARET: The vampire? Yes, there’s a writer, Sheridan Le Fanu. He wrote a story – Carmilla – about a vampire, that’s a particular favourite of ours. Le Fanu is buried there and we visited the grave a few months ago. So, it looks like Frances will be there at 8.
LOMBROSO: Excellent. Well, Ms Malone, we have a small bit of time for some breakfast. Shall we?
MARGARET: I suppose we do and, please, call me Margaret.
LOMBROSO: Margaret it is. Cesare.
MARGARET: Well, let’s get a cup of tea then, Cesare.
SCENE 5
[FX: walking through cemetery, birds, gentle breeze, etc, very quiet]
LOMBROSO: It’s so quiet here at this time of the day.
MARGARET: Yes,it’s very peaceful, isn’t it? Nice place to be buried, I suppose. Le Fanu’s grave is just around here. We should be able to… wait who’s that? Is….oh it is her. Fran! FRAN! (running to her)
FRANCES: Margaret, oh Margaret, thank god you’re here, I didn’t know if…
MARGARET: (getting upset) When we didn’t hear from you, I thought…I though the worst and now Henthorn is dead and… (starting to cry)
FRANCES: I’m fine. I’m here, I’m here. Look at me (kisses her)
MARGARET: Oh Frances! (kissing her back)
FRANCES: I was so worried about you too, I’m so glad you’re here.
MARGARET: Oh and, of course, eh, Professor Lombroso is here too.
LOMBROSO: (from a slight distance, walking towards them) Good morning, I, sorry I didn’t mean to intrude, I came with…Ms Malone just ran over and, eh. So, you are…
MARGARET: Weare more than friends, yes. We’ve been in a very happy relationship for several years now.
LOMBROSO: (Still flustered) No, of course I can see that, I, yes, I just hadn’t realised of course.
FRANCES: That’squitealright. Does this change anything for you, Professor?
LOMBROSO: No, well, I have of course encountered all sorts in my time and…no, no.
MARGARET: Excellent. Well now that we’ve cleared that up, may I ask what in god’s name you’ve done to your hair, Frances! It’s so short! And the outfit – I thought you were a groundskeeper or something when I saw you from across the way!
FRANCES: Well, I’m glad you didn’t recognise me, that’s precisely the point! We’ll get you both fixed up with some nice disguises shortly as well.
Now, we have a lot of catching up to do but we’re a little exposed here. So, no questions right now, I’ll explain everything when we get back to the safe house, it’s just around the corner.
MARGARET: The safe house?
FRANCES: Yes, the Chief Inspector directed us there after he helped us escape. He uses this house as a rendezvous for his informers.
MARGARET: Chief Inspector Burton?? Sorry, what happened last night?
FRANCES: Ah ah ah! No questions yet!
MARGARET: Oh you are just loving this, aren’t you?
FRANCES: Maybe a little, but this is serious. We need to get moving, we have some planning to do if we’re going to rid this country of Lord Grimshaw and his band of murderers.
LOMBROSO: Shh shh, look! Down the way there, those are soldiers.
FRANCES: Quick, move in here behind these trees! [FX: rustling]
LOMBROSO: Dammit, they must be all over this area after your escape, Ms Hunter.
FRANCES: I think that’s safe to say! I imagine two unarmed women escaping a military barracks didn’t go down all too well. And you can be sure they’re on the lookout for you two as well. Have they seen us?
LOMBROSO: I don’t know, maybe not…
GODLEY: (in distance) Look, over there! This way, beyond the trees there!
MARGARET: Oh, no, run! Quick this way [FX: rustling through bushes, etc]
GODLEY: (in distance)Stop! Stopor we’ll shoot!
MARGARET: Jesus Christ they’re not going to shoot are they!?
LOMBROSO: Keep going, they’re too far away for an accurate shot
[FX: Gunshot]
FRANCES: (screams)
LOMBROSO: Mio dio! That was close! Stay low, stay low! Keep going, we’ve a head start. Over the hill here! [FX: running, panting, rustling bushes]
FRANCES: What do we do? What do we do?
MARGARET: I don’t know!(pause)Wait, over there, could we…I mean
LOMBROSO: What?
MARGARET: All the empty coffins there outside that workshop – they must make them here or… We could get…into one each, close it. Hope the soldiers keep going?
FRANCES: What!? No! What about the fence there, we could climb over that!
LOMBROSO: It’s high, we’ll never all get over it in time. We’re out of options – I think we have to get in the coffins!
MARGARET: Right, come on, come on. Frances – in this one. I’ll close it there [FX: creak, slam].You in?
FRANCES: (heard from outside coffin) Yes, yes, you go!
LOMBROSO: Ok, wait. Give me your scarf, Margaret. Quick quick! Now get in that coffin. I’ll tangle the scarf on the (throwing) top of the fence, make it look like we went… come on, there we go!
MARGARET: [FX: slam of coffin]Im in! Get in yours, Cesare!
GODLEY: (getting closer)Come on, lads! Just over the hill here!
LOMBROSO: I’m in! [FX: slam of coffin]
(Silence)
MARGARET: (Sound of heavy, scared breathing)
GODLEY: (heard from perspective ofinside the coffin) Shit, where are they? Are they up that way?
SOLDIER: No, nothing, Colonel. Look, the fence! There’s something caught in it, did they go over?
GODLEY: Shit, maybe! Try that building – anyone inside?
[FX: walking around near coffin]
MARGARET: (Sound of heavy, scared breathing)
SOLDIER: Nobody here, sir
GODLEY: Dammit, you’re probably right. Right, you go over the fence, I’ll get the others and go round. Go go go!
[FX: sounds of soldiers running off]
MARGARET: (Sound of slightly more controlled breathing)
(Pause)
[FX: opening of coffin]
Come on! They’re gone!
[FX: opening of two other coffins]
FRANCES: That was horrifying, Margaret!
MARGARET: Yes, let’s never do that again.
LOMBROSO: Better than the alternative, I suppose. What do we do now?
FRANCES: We go back to the house as planned, but we’ll have to loop all the way round, over the back wall of the cemetery and away from the soldiers.
MARGARET: Right, let’s go. And for the love of God, Fran, tell me everything that happened to you last night!
SCENE 6
[FX: walking along a quiet street]
MARGARET: I still can’t quite believe it, Frances. Escaping from an army barracks! Aided by a supernatural tiger attack. Who are you?
LOMBROSO: Quite remarkable.
FRANCES: Honestly, I don’t think I fully believe it myself. This whole situation is getting out of hand!
LOMBROSO: Well hopefully Burton can provide some answers. You said you’d arranged to meet him this afternoon, yes?
FRANCES: Yes, 3 o’clock at the bridge in Harold’s Cross. He called to the safe house briefly this morning, before I left to meet you. Between whatever else Ms Carey can tell us now back at house, and then Burton later, maybe we can come up with some sort of plan.
MARGARET: Yes. I’d really rather not get shot at again, if that sounds reasonable?
FRANCES: Entirely reasonable. (pause) Now, here we are, it’s this house here. Are we sure nobody has followed us?
LOMBROSO: Yes, I’ve been keeping watch the entire time, and we did a very wide detour back here, I think we’re safe.
FRANCES: Right. I have a key, hold on [FX: key jangle, open door, walking in]
Hello?
[FX: opening another door]
It’s so quiet, it was like a madhouse earlier, the owner of the house has five children.
MARGARET: Well, it’s half past nine – they’re probably all at school.
FRANCES: Yes, I suppose so.
MARGARET: Where’s Ms Carey?
FRANCES: She must be upstairs. Ms Carey? (louder) Ms Carey! Kate? We’re back. I found them!
(silence)
LOMBROSO: Maybe she went out?
FRANCES: I don’t think she would have but perhaps. I’ll check upstairs [FX: walking up stairs]
MARGARET: I hope everything’s alright.
LOMBROSO: (from another room) Margaret, come in here! It looks like there’s been a fight or… oh no
MARGARET: What is it, what’s wrong (gasps) Is he…
LOMBROSO: He’s dead. Shot, it seems
FRANCES: (from upstairs) There’s nobody up here!
MARGARET: (shouting, panicked) Frances get down here now!
[FX: running down stairs]
There’s a dead…a dead policeman in the living room!
FRANCES: What? Who is that?! Where….Where’s Kate?
MARGARET: I don’t know! What’s going on? Did she…
LOMBROSO: (from inside) Ladies, you’ll need to come in to the kitchen. I’m afraid I’ve found Ms Carey.
MARGARET: Is she alright!? What’s happened (pause) Oh Jesus no! (upset)
FRANCES: No! Kate! (running to her) Kate, Kate! Is she… Professor, do…can you do something?!
LOMBROSO: She’s gone, Frances. I’m afraid she has passed.
MARGARET: I don’t understand. What happened? Did the policeman shoot her?
LOMBROSO: I’m not sure. She’s been shot too. At least three times it seems. Her body, this blood, it’s still warm, this has just happened. Wait, is there anyone else in the house?? What about the children you mentioned!?
FRANCES: No, no, there’s nobody upstairs, the house is empty. Just…just Kate! What have they done to her?
LOMBROSO: We have to go.
FRANCES: What?!
LOMBROSO: Ms Carey has just been shot. I don’t know what’s happened but Grimshaw would certainly have wanted her captured alive. There’s a dead policeman in the living room – clearly something went wrong. Maybe he heard screaming and entered the house and was shot by the army or maybe Burton was here or… I don’t know. Look, there’s blood all over the window here too – someone went out that way. This is not a tidy military operation, it was messy and loud and someone must have raised the alarm by now. We are going to get arrested for murder unless we go. Now!
FRANCES: We can’t just leave her here!
MARGARET: He’s right, Fran, we have to go. Come on, maybe we can…yes look, the garden leads out to a lane, we can go out that way.
FRANCES: But Margaret, she’s… (upset)
MARGARET: I know, I know. But we have to go, Fran. We need to stay out of sight until we meet Burton later, and we need to disguise ourselves. I know somewhere we can go to help with that.
FRANCES: (still upset) But Kate….
MARGARET: (gentle) Come on, Fran. Here, take my hand, we need to go now.
SCENE 7
[FX: Echoey (they are under a bridge), a few drips and water sounds]
MARGARET: (upset)Oh Fran,I’m so sorry.
FRANCES: It’s not your fault, Margaret.
MARGARET: Well, I’m the one who started following all this up in the first place, who pushed us to keep going, and now Ms Carey is dead, you’ve been imprisoned, chased by soldiers, what if…what if that “tiger” thing had attacked you?! This is…I don’t know what this is anymore.
FRANCES: I know. I know. But, look, it’s done now. As Cesare said, none of this is going to stop unless we stop it.
LOMBROSO: Yes, Chief Inspector Burton can tell us what he knows now, and maybe we can think of a way to end this somehow. It’s just past 3 o’clock, you’re sure this is where he said to meet?
FRANCES: Yes, he said go to the bridge over the canal at Harold’s Cross – there’s only one – and to wait underneath, out of sight.
LOMBROSO: Well, I’m sure he’ll be along shortly (pause)
FRANCES: Hardly what you expected, Professor, when you came to Dublin for a few society talks?
LOMBROSO: Not quite, no.
MARGARET: And listen, are you not due back in Turin? You have a family. We’re not going to think any less of you if you leave.
LOMBROSO: Thank you for saying that, but no, I’m staying. I’ve already written home to say I’ll be a little later than planned.
Truly, I have never met two more devoted, determined champions of the truth, and I am not one to abandon my friends.
FRANCES: Thank you, Cesare, that means a lot.
LOMBROSO: And not only that, but this is much bigger than all of us now. The world needs to learn the truth of spiritualism, but not like this. We can’t let the movement become vilified as a vehicle for gruesome murders, and perverted for military gain.
There are scores of mediums out there helping people, bringing them comfort and joy and wonder, not to mention those exploring what is the greatest scientific breakthrough the world has ever known. This needs to be celebrated and it needs to be explored with care and caution. Grimshaw and his like have to be stopped.
MARGARET: Sorry, Cesare, let’s keep it down a bit, there’s a barge coming along here.
FRANCES: We look a little odd all standing under a bridge here. Where is Burton? Will I have a quick look on the bridge and see if I can see him?
LOMBROSO: A very quick look, we need to stay out of sight.
BURTON: (shouting from the barge) Wrong way, Ms Hunter![water, barge noises]
FRANCES: What…? You didn’t mention you were arriving on a barge?!
BURTON: It’s a lovely way to travel, don’t you think? My friend Ruairi here owns it and he’s very obliging. And really it’s the perfect place to chat, well out of sight of anyone. Now, it’s a little unsteady here but if you just take my ha….
MARGARET: (hopping on)
BURTON: Ah, nicely done Ms Malone. Now, Ms Hunter and Professor Lombroso? (they get on). Excellent. Now, follow me down below here.
[FX: barge/boat noises, etc as they go below. Sound changes]
BURTON: Now. I see you are all alive, which is an excellent start. And very nicely disguised, I might add.
FRANCES: Yes, we stopped off at a friend’s house. She was confused but very obliging.
BURTON: Two factory girls and a, well, I’m not entirely sure what you are Professor, but I hope you weren’t too attached to that very distinctive moustache of yours?
LOMBROSO: The moustache I’ve had since my early 20s, the one I take pains to groom perfectly each day and without which I look quite ridiculous? Oh no, not at all…
MARGARET (quietly to Burton as Lombroso is speaking) Don’t mention the moustache!
BURTON: Well, it will all help evade Grimshaw’s men for now anyway.
LOMBROSO: I hope so. We were shot at this morning. And, if you hadn’t heard, poor Ms Carey is dead.
BURTON: Yes, I heard. A fucking disgrace – excuse my language. Two policemen on the beat seemingly heard screams and entered the house. Grimshaw’s soldiers fired without warning and, in the confusion, Ms Carey was shot, one of the policemen ended up dead, and the other is very badly wounded. I know him too – lovely lad, with three young kids (sighing, upset)
(Pause)
MARGARET: Chief Inspector, the three of us have been discussing all the events of the last few days and we need to make a plan. We have to stop Grimshaw, and between the four of us I think we at least have a chance.
BURTON: I’m glad you think there’s a chance. I’m not quite so optimistic but, yes, that’s what I’ve been planning too. I’m still an inside man for now, but it’s only a matter of time before they put things together.
FRANCES: So how in God’s name do we stop a Field Marshall and his literal army of men!?
BURTON: Well, assuming he recovers from his injuries, I now have a police officer who can testify to Grimshaw’s men murdering an unarmed young woman. At least some good could come of Ms Carey’s murder.
LOMBROSO: That could certainly bring some very unwelcome scrutiny. But Lord Grimshaw is a very powerful man, Chief Inspector. I wonder if it’s enough.
BURTON: True. But I also met with Francois Leroux, who I believe you’ve met. His Psi organisation has been working on bringing down Grimshaw for quite some time now. They say they have evidence of several of these spiritualist murders. And not just murders, but torture and gruesome experiments. If this were to be published in a newspaper, say…
MARGARET: Ah, I see where this is going. That could be arranged, and with a full account of some of the goings on this week.
BURTON: Exactly. There’s a huge scandal here if handled correctly. And I know there are men in Grimshaw’s unit who aren’t happy with what’s going on and might provide details off the record.
LOMBROSO: Hmm, yes
FRANCES: (pause) It strikes me that this is might all be about tigers.
BURTON: What?
FRANCES: The tigers. We could use the tigers to pin it all on Grimshaw.
BURTON: How?
FRANCES: The Chief Secretary’s son, brutally murdered outside the zoo by a wild animal. The “murderer” very conveniently caught and shot by Grimshaw who, we can remind people, is the President of the Zoological Society.
LOMBROSO: And who has personally organised the shipping of tigers to the zoo, I was informed.
FRANCES: Even better. He doesn’t want the zoo, and his tigers, to be blamed for a prominent murder so he covers it up. Brings the tiger to his army barracks to keep it out of the way. But it escapes.
MARGARET: Oh, yes, I like this.
FRANCES: Yes, it’s the same tiger – goes on the rampage in the barracks and, as we read in the paper, was even seen walking down Rathmines Road before mysteriously disappearing. All Grimshaw’s work, we can claim.
BURTON: He’s killing innocent women because he believes they’re talking to ghosts, he let a tiger from his zoo loose in the park and then again in Rathmines. He’s responsible for Redgrave’s death. The man is losing it, he’s a liability to the army.
LOMBROSO: Exactly. And I could perhaps provide my professional opinion on the matter for your story?
MARGARET: Well now. This is starting to look a little more promising.
BURTON: But to be sure this will work I think we need a star witness.
FRANCES: What? Who?
BURTON: Colonel Godley. I believe you’ve had the… I won’t say pleasure, of meeting him. He’s loyal to Grimshaw but I know the type. He’s ruthless and he’s ambitious, and above all he’s loyal to himself. He’ll sacrifice his superior officer to avoid getting jailed for this, maybe hanged. We can offer to take his name out of the story, he can offer up Grimshaw, keep his army career – he was “just following orders”, we can work something out.
MARGARET: Do you think he would do it?
BURTON: Yes, I think so. And I know where he’s going to be tomorrow evening. Mr Leroux’s group found out that there’s a meeting happening at the zoo. Grimshaw uses a private office there when he needs to meet people discreetly. And Godley always goes to any location like this in advance of Grimshaw. We can get into the zoo, catch Godley before Grimshaw arrives, and make the offer.
MARGARET: And if he says no? Or just shoots you on sight.
BURTON: Ah, it’s too messy to kill me. And we’ll have set things in motion anyway. Look, we’ll work out the exact details. In the meantime, Margaret, you’ll need to write the most sensational article of your career, and contact your editor about getting it published.
FRANCES: I’ll help with that.
BURTON: Excellent. You can stay on the barge for now, and I have somewhere safe you can all stay tonight. Now, I need to help Ruairi open the next lock up here.
MARGARET: Do you think this is going to work?
BURTON: Well, if it doesn’t, we’ll all be dead or in prison by tomorrow night.
SCENE 8
[FX: Zoo sounds, night time]
BURTON: Quick, Professor, this way, there’s a gap in the fence here!
LOMBROSO: One moment, I just need to…(Struggling to get through fence). Ugh, this sort of clandestine behaviour is not exactly my forte, Chief Inspector. I can’t see anything!
BURTON: Don’t worry,it’sjust here, I’ll hold the fence up…there…come on through.
LOMBROSO: Ow!I think I’m…I’m stuck! Oh no, wait, I’m through.
BURTON: Please don’t make me regret bringing you along this evening.
LOMBROSO: Just get us to Colonel Godley and, as promised, I’ll be very useful in making our case. Climbing under fences in the dark, I will happily admit, is your department.
BURTON: Right,well we haven’t got much time. Grimshaw will be along soon. Godley should be in the that building just up ahead. Do you see the lights on inside?
LOMBROSO: Ahyes. Excellent.
BURTON: Come on, we can loop around and make sure it’s just Godley here for now.
[FX: walking through leaves, etc ongoing zoo sounds]
LOMBROSO: (speaking more quietly)There he is! In the second window there!
BURTON: Looks very quiet. I don’t think there’s anyone in the room with him. Come on!
LOMBROSO: Let’s try not to get shot.
BURTON: I’ll knock on the window; you stay out of sight for now.
[FX: Knock on window]
Colonel Godley, it’s me, Chief Inspector Burton. Apologies for the unexpected visit, may we have a word?
GODLEY: Chief Inspector, what the hell are you doing here? What’s going on?
BURTON: Colonel, we need to talk, and we need to do it quickly, before Lord Grimshaw arrives. I want to make you a proposal.
GODLEY: A proposal?
BURTON: Yes. Can you come round the back here? Is there anyone with you?
GODLEY: No, nobody’s here. Eh, yes, fine, give me a moment, I’ll come round to you.
BURTON: (under his voice) Professor! He’s coming around here. Just stay hidden until I give the word. (pause, to himself) Come on Godley, please be a selfish bastard.
GODLEY: Chief Inspector? Ah, there you are. What’s going on?
BURTON: I’m going to make this quick. This unit of Lord Grimshaw’s has gone way beyond any remit you might once have had. You know that. There will be an article in the papers tomorrow implicating him – and you – in the deaths of multiple innocent women, the murder of a police officer, and Sebastian Redgrave’s murder and cover up. We have eyewitnesses, testimonials, hard evidence. We’ll also be informing the War Secretary of exactly what’s been going on.
GODLEY: We? And who exactly is this “we”?
BURTON: Professor, you can come out!
GODLEY: Ah, so you are officially working with the enemy. I had thought so much more of you, Burton.
LOMBROSO: Colonel Godley, this has gone on long enough. At this moment you have two options: support Lord Grimshaw and end up court martialled and hanged. Or help us.
GODLEY: (laughing, sarcastic) Help you? Wonderful, and how might this work?
BURTON: You’re an intelligent man, Colonel. Think this through. Help us out, let Grimshaw take the fall for it and we can write you out of the story.
GODLEY: Or I just shoot you both now.
BURTON: You do that and the story goes out anyway, except now you’re implicated in the murders of an eminent Italian professor and a high-ranking police officer.
GODLEY: I’ll take my chances [FX: cocking gun]
BURTON: Colonel Godley, please put the weapon away. I don’t think you fully understand what’s at stake here.
GODLEY: You fucking idiots, I know exactly what’s at stake here. (shouting) Lieutenant, search them! I’m sure the inspector is armed, check him carefully.
LIEUTENTANT: Yes, sir
[FX: Soldier arriving, patting down L and B]
Professor you’ve been causing trouble since you landed in this country. But Burton, you had such a promising career ahead of you. You’ll be missed, I’m sure.
BURTON: Colonel, don’t do this. It’s not too late to reconsider. (to soldier searching him) Get off me, you have my weapon!
Colonel,this story is going to go out with or without us. You’ll be court-martialled.
GODLEY: Oh, you mean the story that Ms Hunter and Malone are writing at that little cottage in Ranelagh?
BURTON: How…
GODLEY: Burton, we’ve been following you – we lost you at the cemetery but you were spotted this morning. We were about to round you all up but wanted to see what your plan was. (shouting) Lord Grimshaw, sir, you can come around, they’ve been disarmed.
GRIMSHAW: AugustusBurton, what a disappointing end to a stellar police career. A traitor to the crown, aiding wanted criminals. I brought you into my trust, I’d thought so much more of you.
Colonel Godley, you have the women?
GODLEY: Yes sir, they should be here any minute now.
LOMBROSO: Lord Grimshaw this is an outrage, I demand to know what you intend to…
GRIMSHAW: (interrupting him) I intend to shoot you, Professor. Along with Burton here, and your two lady friends. We’ll need to torture you first, of course, to ascertain everything you know. And then we’ll work out how to stage it all so your murders go unnoticed – a terrible fire in that cottage in Ranelagh perhaps. I don’t know, frankly I don’t care. Colonel Godley here is very good at that sort of thing.
Ah, and here are your friends now. (to soldier at a slight distance)Over here, Private!
MARGARET: I’m so sorry, they came to the house, we couldn’t get out!
BURTON: It’s fine, Ms Malone. It’s not your fault.
FRANCES: What do you want with us, Lord Grimshaw?
GRIMSHAW: Ms Hunter, all I require is all four of you, questioned and dead, by the end of the night. In fact, I don’t think we need to question both of you ladies individually. Let’s simplify things and just shoot you now, Ms Hunter. Colonel.
MARGARET: Please, no, don’t do this!
FRANCES: No! No!
[FX: Very loud growl in the background]
GODLEY: What was that?
GRIMSHAW: We’re in a zoo, Colonel, it was an animal I would assume.
GODLEY: No, it came from the trees there. There are no cages over there.
GRIMSHAW: What? Are you sure? [FX: another growl]
Private, go have a look.
Colonel, are you sure it’s coming from the trees?
GODLEY: I don’t know, it sounded like it but…
[FX: Scream, shot fired and sound of soldier being attacked by animal]
What was that!? (calling) Private? Private??
GRIMSHAW: The four of you, MOVE! Over there, down on the ground!Lieutenant, keep them in the corner there – if any of them moves shoot them all!
LIEUTENANT: Yes, sir!
GRIMSHAW: Godley, with me. It’s dark but listen, it’s on the move
[FX: Growl/roar panned across to other side]
GRIMSHAW: Check on the private, I’ll cover you from here.
(below all whispered)
MARGARET: What’s going on, Fran? What is that thing?
FRANCES: I…I think it’s the pithecanthropus!
MARGARET: What!?
FRANCES: It sounds like it, from what Kate told me. And I don’t know how to describe this but it just feels like it did when Kate materialised that tiger in the barracks.
MARGARET: Oh god, what do we do?
FRANCES: I don’t know, I don’t know!
GODLEY: (at distance from M & L conversation) He’s dead, sir! He’s…he’s completely torn apart. I can’t hear anything (pause)
GRIMSHAW: (closer now). I can’t see anything out here, we’re too exposed. Come back this way, Godley, we can retreat inside.
(below all whispered)
BURTON: Frances, you’re sure this is the apeman thing?
FRANCES: Yes, I mean…it has to be.
MARGARET: But Ms Carey is dead!
BURTON: Right, well, I don’t know how these things work but we’ll all be dead soon at this point so, Professor, if it attacks again and the lieutenant is distracted, we need to try to overpower him. Grab one those rocks there if you can. Look, he’s terrified, he keeps looking over at the forest.
FRANCES: I don’t blame him
[FX: very loud growl]
GODLEY: On me! I think it’s over here!
GRIMSHAW: Fire!
[FX Gunshots]
GODLEY: (Scream, sounds of being attacked)
BURTON: Professor! Now! Grab the lieutenant!
[FX: Sounds of a struggle, lieutenant hit by rock, thud, etc.
Shot fired]
BURTON: Ahhh! (reacting to being shot)
LOMBROSO: Got him, he’s unconscious. Take his rifle!
MARGARET: Got it!
BURTON: Get behind these trees!
(silence, panting)
FRANCES: Burton, you’re shot!
BURTON: I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just my shoulder. What happened? Where’s Grimshaw?
FRANCES: I heard Godley scream, I think thepithecanthropus got him. Did it get Grimshaw too?
[FX: 2 shots together]
FRANCES: (simultaneously)Ah!
MARGARET: (simultaneously) Jesus!
BURTON: (simultaneously) Get down!
FRANCES: Evidently not.
BURTON: Dammit, that was two shots, I think Godley’s still alive.
(shouting) Grimshaw! We have your lieutenant’s rifle, and believe me I will not hesitate to shoot you. Or would you prefer to be attacked by whatever the hell is out there?
[FX: Shot]
GRIMSHAW: (shouting) We’ll take our chances. We have you cornered, and Colonel Godley here is a world-class shot with a rifle.
MARGARET: (to Burton) Is that true?
BURTON: Unfortunately, from what I’ve heard, yes. And he’s right. We can’t go back. We can make a run for the trees across the way there but we’re too exposed, even in this light.
FRANCES: What about your pistol, Chief Inspector?
BURTON: It’s back by the soldier, we won’t get it. Unless we tried to…
GODLEY: None of you move!Drop the rifle, Burton!
BURTON: (sighs)
GODLEY: Throw it over here.
[FX: Sound of weapon being thrown]
GODLEY Now, all of you,this way. Move!
(To Grimshaw) I have them, sir!
[FX: All walking]
GODLEY: Come on (stumbles over words as he’s in pain) This…this way
BURTON: Are you alright there, Godley, you’re not looking so good.
GODLEY: Shut up!
MARGARET: Jesus, look at his neck, he’s bleeding!
GODLEY: Quiet!
(in pain)Lord Grimshaw, sir. What’s the plan?
GRIMSHAW: The shots are going to attract attention. We need to clean this mess up and try to…Jesus, Godley, your neck, you’re…
GODLEY: I just need to stop the….I’m fine I… [FX: Collapses to ground]
FRANCES: (Gasps)
GRIMSHAW: Godley!Godley can you hear me?
BURTON: I think he’s dead, Grimshaw.
GRIMSHAW: (sighing) A truly excellent soldier. At least he’ll take comfort knowing I got revenge for his death.
MARGARET: Revenge?For what? What is this all for, Grimshaw? You’ve left a trail of murder and violence behind you. Do you really believe this is all somehow in the interests of the British Empire?
GRIMSHAW: Ms Malone, I believe I was tasked with a mission of vital importance, to be carried out by whatever means necessary. And those means have resulted in some unfortunate collateral damage, as many military operations will.
(getting angrier)And right now I have more important things to think about than what some Irish peasant womanwants to write about in some fucking rag of a newspaper!! Which is why… (cut off abruptly)
[FX: Loud Growl, scream from Grimshaw and sounds of him being violently attacked]
MARGARET: (Screams)
LOMBROSO: Merda!
BURTON: RUN! NOW!
FRANCES: NO! Don’t!
BURTON: What?!
FRANCES: Don’t run. Justback up slowly. Stay still. I don’t think the apeman is here for us. It very specifically attacked Grimshaw and not us. Look.
MARGARET: Fran, we need to go!
FRANCES: No, it might attack us then. Just back up, stay calm. We need to trust Kate.
LOMBROSO: I think she may be right. Let’s stay still.
[FX Heavy Footsteps]
(Pause, all breathing heavily)
[FX: Growl, grunt, as pithecanthropus comes nearer, grunting, etc]
FRANCES: (very gently) Alright….alright, everything’s fine…
[FX: Sudden loud growl then it back offs]
MARGARET: It’s leaving!
FRANCES: Stay still….
MARGARET: Wait, what’s happening?!
LOMBROSO: It’s dematerialising, it’s, it’s….gone! Fascinating!
BURTON: Jesus, let’s hope we never see that thing again.
FRANCES: I don’t know how she did it but let’s thank Kate Carey.
LOMBROSO: Indeed (pause)
BURTON: Right, we need to leave. Now. Three brutally murdered men and I don’t know how many gunshots. I don’t know how we’re going to talk our way out of this one.
MARGARET: Maybe we don’t have to.
BURTON: How?
MARGARET: I hate to do this to an innocent animal, but isn’t my newspaper report going to blame Grimshaw for his incompetent handling of a man-eating tiger? Well, why don’t we open the tiger cage now, and whoever finds the bodies will also find some escaped tigers and put it together.
FRANCES: Margaret, the poor tigers will be shot!
LOMBROSO: We don’t know that for sure and, well, the alternative is that we all hang, Frances, so perhaps it’s not the worst option in the circumstances?
BURTON: Hmm, that is actually quite ingenious, Ms Malone. We’ll all need to meet later and get our stories straight but for now, I can have a little “chat” with the lieutenant there, who I see is coming round. Then, Professor, if you could help me to bring Grimshaw’s body to the tiger cages we can leave it there, smear a bit of blood around, open the cage and get out of here. We’ll need to sell the story as best we can.
MARGARET: I, eh, hate to make this suggestion but Grimshaw’s body is heavy and the tiger cage is on the other side of the zoo. You could just bring his arm.
FRANCES: Margaret!
MARGARET: I know, I know, but look, the apeman ripped it off. It’s… it’s right there. And, you know, it’s much lighter.
BURTON: Ugh, god I hadn’t even noticed that. But, unfortunately, you are absolutely right. Come on, Professor, let’s go.
MsHunter, Ms Malone, leave now. Don’t go near the main entrance, get back to the address we agreed, and we’ll see you there.
FRANCES: Be careful!
MARGARET: Yes, please don’t get eaten by an actual tiger!
LOMBROSO: Va bene, we’ll be back as soon as we can!
SCENE 9
[FX: In bar on a piazza, Italian chatter, ambiance, etc]
LOMBROSO: Salute!
MARGARET: Salute!
FRANCES: Salute! [FX: glasses clink]
To you, Cesare, and your hospitality. This last month has been truly wonderful.
MARGARET: Here, here. I could get used to this: sipping drinks in a café in a beautiful Italian piazza.
LOMBROSO: A lifestyle befitting a renowned journalist, Margaret.
MARGARET: Well, I don’t know about renowned, but it was exciting to see my story get so much coverage.
FRANCES: I’m so proud of you, Margaret, this is really going to make your career.
MARGARET: Yes, I suppose so. Well, once I can come out of hiding and actually tell my editor I’m available for more work.
LOMBROSO: Oh, it’ll all calm down in Dublin soon, I suspect. My contact in the British army said the latest he’d heard was that Grimshaw’s unit was disbanded – nobody in the army command wants anything to do with the scandal.
FRANCES: And in the meantime, if we’re going to be stuck somewhere, I can think of far worse hiding places!
MARGARET: Yes, I think I could get used to “aperitivi”
LOMBROSO: You’re a natural already!
MARGARET: Speaking of, will we get another drink?
BURTON: May I join you?
MARGARET: Hmm?
FRANCES: Burton!? What… what are you doing here??
MARGARET: Sit down, sit down. How in god’s name did you find us?? I didn’t even tell my family where I was going. On your advice.
BURTON: Yes, you really did manage to find a pretty remote part of Italy, Professor. Well done. Ordinarily, I would never have found you here, but I had some help. I was very reliably informed by one Henrietta Malone.
MARGARET: My…mother?
BURTON: Yes, she’s been looking out for you, Ms Malone. In fact, it seems she tried to contact the Professor early on, when he was at a séance?
PROFESSOR: Of course, you’re Gretta!
MARGARET: What? Yes, that’s what my mam always called me.
PROFESSOR: She interrupted a séance and asked me to help you but I didn’t know who “Gretta” was at that point and…
MARGARET: So you’ve both been in contact with my mother?
BURTON: Yes, I figured I’d try to learn a little bit more about this spiritualist business after, well, after everything we’d been through. I found another medium – nothing like as skilled as poor Ms Carey, but as soon as I tried to contact the dead, Henrietta Malone appeared. It was…she was quite remarkable. She told me exactly where to find you – seems she’s keeping an eye on you, Ms Malone.
MARGARET: She always did.
FRANCES: But, why did you need to find us so urgently? Oh god, has someone found out…
BURTON: No, no, don’t worry, we are in the clear.
Unfortunately though, I’m not here for the sightseeing. There’s been a murder, something of an “international incident” you might say. I’ll fill you in on the details but this is urgent and it’s going to require some “specialist” skills. And, well, it seems the three of you are particularly good at this sort of thing.
I need your help.
END